Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Over the Hump: My Take on Life headed towards 30

So I was on Facebook (I could probably start most conversations with this sentence...and its probably just as popular a sentence opening as that "this one time at band camp" thing that went around FOR EV ER) but anyway...A friend posted a status about not being excited about her birthday this year because she is turning 26. She says she was excited to turn 25, but excited to turn 26..."not so much."

This girl (i'm sorry I don't know why I still call people "girls" and "boys" when they are in fact women and men at our age, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet......maybe its an after 30 thing?) friend was in the same class as me in school but she's a year younger than me. I was always one of the oldest in my class, which was so cool back then but NOT so much anymore. While she is fretting about turning 26, I have already been there done that and will be turning 27 in October...27 years old...and I still feel like Highschool was just a few years ago.

My friends post was absolutely not the first time i've really thought about this aging thing...naturally I think about turning 30 (doesn't every 20 something?) However, my husband is 15 years older than I.  The subject of age has a bigger presence in my life than it may for other people. I absolutely love our age difference. It makes us who we are as a couple, as a team. Sometimes though, I feel like my husband and I aren't growing old together....he's just waiting for me to grow up.

I've given this 30 thing a lot of thought actually. At first I couldn't stand the thought of turning 30...didn't that mean I was OLD...too old to do the things I did in my 20's? I could list about 50 other things I hated about the thought of turning 30, but after turning 27, and just accepting that 30 IS's what a lot of thought on this subject has concluded to:

While i'm not in any hurry to rush it, I AM looking forward to turning 30.
At 30, you are old enough that people treat you like a grown-up that knows something about life, but still young enough that you can do anything you want with your life.

At 27, I still feel young, look young, and act young(ish)...but I feel like i'm competing with myself...myself in my early 20's. I'm only a few years older...shouldn't my skin still look the same? Shouldn't my body still look the same? Shouldn't I still be able to wear that mini skirt? What about going to parties? Am I trying to look like I'm a mom or make people wonder if I'm still im still 21? And on and on....

But the truth is...I AM older...I DO look older... i'm married and a mom! Life is different than it was just a few years ago, and i've now accepted that and am trying to move forward into womanhood. I think 30 will be sort of a relief. At 30 I can settle into my role as a woman, and stop trying to keep up with who I was at 21 years old because that will just exhaust me!

At 30, life is more settled. I think by then, most people are done searching for themselves, and can settle into who they've found themselves to be. Am I still in that searching phase? Hmmm..maybe. I'm kind of not sure. So, I may as well take these next few years and just relax, work on myself and my family and enjoy the rest of my 20's without worrying what 30 looks like because it's coming no matter what! I may as well look forward and strive to be a happy, confident, sexy, beautiful WOMAN in my 30s!

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